Guilt check.

I suddenly don't know how to act. I try to make eye contact with the guy to in the uniform to look confident but not too much because it might make me look suspicious. I divert my gaze when I realize that he might see it in my eyes that I have something to hide and switch my weight from one leg to the other while my bags make their way through the machine at a very slow pace. It's going too slow but I try to stay calm and I try to act patient. I just want to get it over with. I try smiling at the same guy in uniform but I realize that might not be a smart thing to do either.

The machine suddenly stops running. The words 'alarm' show up on the screen and one of the guys in uniform is staring at the content of two bags. I can feel the sweat running out of my pores as I try to keep my shit together while telling myself: 'You will get through this. They will not catch you. You will not go to jail.'

The begs are not mine. Sigh.

I hate going through security checks. I always dread the moment. Security checks always make me feel like a nervous wreck. In that moment I turn into some kind of criminal. I sweat my way through the process and I feel a big relief when I've passed the check. Because that means they did not throw away any of my liquids away and that I did not have to leave anything behind. It also means that they did not discover the stash of cocaine that was hidden in my backpack and I did not have to take off my shoes so they did not find the drugs hidden between my toes. I got lucky!

Just kidding. Ofcourse I do not travel with cocaine or any kind of drugs. I find people who do, how can I put this in a nice way,  plain stupid. Ofcourse, it's an easy way to make money (and possibly become rich or just get some money to survive) and some people are desperately in need of and others desperately in love with money but it's also an easy way to get caught
and to end up in jail and throw your life to the sharks.

I'm not a criminal.  I accidentally stole a hotdog once. Well I was planning on paying for it but I walked away. I then realized that I had forgotten to pay and sort of panicked and ran.

Besides that I'm practically a saint, but security checks have their way of making me feel like a guilty criminal.