Do you see it? It's everywhere.

We had her for like two months. I had really started loving here and I was looking forward to seeing her growing up and becoming big and even more beautiful.
She was playful and always terrorized our garden and never listened and that always annoyed us. But then she got sick. For three whole days she only lay there and stared in the distance with watery eyes.
Her hair was glued to her skin because of the saliva she had spilled all over herself. She had become skinny, hardly recognizable and just lay there as nothing more than a suffering creature what was once a playful puppy, so my dad let them put her to sleep. And we miss her.

It's sad that I need sad feelings to be able to write but so it is and I will make us of it.
I was full of sad feelings today because my dog just passed away.
You might think I'm exaggerating when I say I cried as if it was my closest family member who just left the earth to soar the skies.
But dogs are called a man his best friend and when your best friend dies it's nothing but logical to cry.
So I cried and still do when I look at that those puppy dog eyes that I will never find staring at me again while I'm hanging clothes to dry.




So I'm full of these miserable feelings, but at the same time I remember all the times we spent with her even if it wasn't that long and I sure do,appreciate my other dogs more now.


I sat at school in between the tests that I fully concentrated on,
sat there and didn't talk to any one because I didn't feel the necessity to do so. Instead I observed everything around me and enjoyed the tones and words that filled my head.
Looking around me, sadness was nowhere to be found,only within my soul.

I saw people laughing and people waving and smiling at me as they passed by rushing to their class where they had to make their test.
I smiled back as they passed by,even when I wasn't noticed in the motion.
I wished them good luck and really meant it.
Sometimes someone sat down ,next to me
an old love
a good friend
a classmate
an acquaintance
I valued their presence in the same way, they all mattered and filled my heart with warmth.







On my way home a man interrupted my thoughts.
A man I don't know but at the same time know too well.
He asked me: 'Why are you looking so serious? Why aren't you smiling?' I said :'I am thinking'.
He replied that even when I was thinking such a serious face wasn't necessary.

This touched me
and made me think even more.
Because it was then that I realized that it was only a year ago that I thought only evil of this who then seemed grumpy ,grey-headed, almost bold man who now shared a smile with me because I had lost mine in all my thoughts.
I gave it back.
My opinion about him had changed.
And this,again really touched me.
Is it that he was different this year?
or was I the one who changed?


That day it seemed like every thing stretched out their arms and touched me, embracing me and the wind whispered that everything would be okay as it rushed by and tuzzled the leaves that were bathing in the sunlight. And I couldn't help but smile at the world as it was constantly smiling at me. Then it started raining and I started dancing and felt blessed to be part of all this that I was experiencing.

I realized once again that every little thing makes life worth living, even those that make you sad or perhaps especially those things because the reason you become sad is that you care. And the ability to care for something or someone is beautiful.

No matter how much I had cried, I now, again, saw the beauty. It was everywhere and it made me smile.
So, no matter what you're going through, keep looking for the beauty in life.

(This was originally written in 2009 when my beautiful dog named Diva died)